This year, we celebrate International Women’s Day in the year of the Ox, which of all the Chinese Zodiac animals fits the woman’s leadership challenge & burnout crisis we are all in the best.
In the Chinese zodiac, the Ox is the second of all the animals. According to legend, the Jade Emperor proclaimed the order in the zodiac would be decided by the order in which they arrived to his party. Ox was about to be the first to arrive, but Rat tricked Ox into giving him a ride. Then, just as they arrived, the wiley Rat jumped down and landed ahead of Ox. Thus, Ox became the second animal.
I've been thinking a fair bit about the reliable, hardworking Ox - toiling from dawn till dusk, never asking for anything in return. The poor old Ox, tricked by the wiley Rat into losing that top spot in the Zodiac. This story echoes the ethos ingrained in us from a very young age: in life - leading with love & a desire to serve others never gets us ahead. It's all about looking out for number one.
This egocentric “survival of the fittest” value-set defines the corporate leadership model. But we also apply it in society, in particular when we try "to fix" women and mothers. When women & mothers are overworked & exhausted, what do they get as a solution:
Why don't you take some "me-time"?
Really? Me-time? What - so I can recharge & get fit enough to go and do the same old crap, over and over again?
As we grapple with how to elevate women into corporate leadership roles, it’s time to accept that the existing Rat-dominant corporate culture is broken. That it forces an unsustainable & utterly depletive mental and physical load on mothers that no massage, no weekend retreat, no candlelit bath or one hour walk in the woods can fix. That it is uninspiring, undesirable, and untenable for women to form part of a leadership construct where success and resiliency cannot co-exist.
The answer to getting more women in leadership roles is to change the corporate leadership model from “survival of the fittest” to “no one gets left behind”.
Think about it. The Rat is totally unwanted. That is why when I was working in banking, I never aspired to be my boss. The behaviours & values that my corporate leaders modelled were not consistent with the work life balance I wanted. I was not interested in succession politics and empire building over 14 hour work days, evening drinks and rounds of golf on the weekend. I was not interested in productivity and profit at the expense of resiliency & humanity.
But why did I jump to the conclusion that to stay true to myself and have the work-life balance I wanted, I needed to look for ways to move laterally in my career and not up? Why didn't I think I could be a corporate leader and an Ox?
Truth be told, I did not think changing the rules or the leadership model was an option. I simply accepted that I was the wrong fit, that I was not “made for it”. But as the pandemic continues to decimate female employment and the great advancements we have made in diversity and inclusion, I have come to see things differently.
We are seeing women who have lost their jobs taking longer to begin their job hunt. We are also seeing women accept institutionalised me-time options and reduce their corporate working hours to cope with their increased caregiving responsibilities. These me-time disruptions in their career are not breaks at all.
Mothers bow out so that they can care for others without burning out.
They continue their gruelling work in service to their family & community without asking for anything in return and accepting the consequent reduction in pay, perceived professional value, benefits, pension contributions & future financial security.
Sounds unfair?
Maybe a day at the spa will help?
Or maybe leadership teams can start codifying policies that allow for performance and resilience. Here are some examples:
CODIFY RULES TO MITIGATE BURNOUT: e.g. Company wide policy for no scheduled meetings or conference calls between 5-8pm so men and women can engage in family care. As a nutritionist, I can tell you that these hours are hell for families - especially during COVID. The majority of mothers are left to organise everything from meals to bedtime on their own and the mental load of having to be the only one to shoulder the planning and execution of family care is isolating, depressing and exhausting.
CODIFY EMPATHY : e.g. No business emails or travel on the weekends. Solo parenting on the weekends is depleting to the core; it accelerates burnout for both parents and takes a massive toll on weekday productivity. More importantly though, it takes time away from family bonding activities, and increases feelings of separation and isolation for everyone in the family unit. As a business leader, you might think that practising empathy is about creating a safe space where your team can share their vulnerabilities and struggles in their personal life without being judged. Of course, we need that but not if at the same time, leaders are complicit in their employees physical and mental health decline. It’s time to start codifying empathy & humanity by putting policies in place that create and hold space for real recovery time.
So when International Women’s Day rolls around next year, I #choosetochallenge you to ask yourself: am I a Rat or am I an Ox? Do I perpetuate the corporate value set of “survival of the fittest” or am I working to ensure that “no one gets left behind”? Do I pursue profit at the expensive of resilience? Or am I codifying policies in my workplace to ensure that no has to bow out for fear of burnout?
#Chosetochallenge and don’t know where to start? I have a front line seat to the toll that the current corporate leadership culture is taking on the mental and physical health of both men and women. Choose to codify policies that allow for performance and resilience. You’ll solve the burnout & the female leadership crisis in one fell swoop.
Cristina Tahoces is a holistic nutritionist, TEDx speaker and owner of Thrive Nutrition Practice. She helps clients with high stress profiles use food as therapy to support their physical and mental health. Join her newsletter for her latest articles on how to address burnout and support your physical and mental health. Watch her TEDx talk “Sleep Love Poop” and learn how eating with purpose can help you buid stress resilience. Contact her at cristina@thrivenutritionpractice.com.